Praxis Heinis
Sexual Offenses, Paraphilias and Distressing Sexual Impulses
Without condemnation
Therapy in the context of sexual offenses, distressing paraphilias, or impulses that frighten you
Few topics divide people as sharply as this one – and that is exactly why it stays untouched, by those it concerns and by many therapists too. If you have come into conflict with the law because of a sexual offense, not many people will welcome you with that.
In my practice, people arrive on different paths. Sometimes the police are at the door and a double life collapses. Sometimes someone has held themselves together for years, and then a line gets crossed anyway. And sometimes someone looks back at a dark chapter of their life and knows: what I did was wrong. Even if what has been done cannot be undone, we can understand better how it came to this and which factors played a part – and, more important still, how it can be prevented from happening again. That is the work.
You are just as welcome here if nothing has ever happened. Some people live with a pedophilic or hebephilic sexual preference, or with impulses that frighten them. Having a pedophilic or hebephilic sexual preference is not a crime – acting on it is, because children or adolescents are harmed in the process. If you look for help before anything happens, you deserve to find it without detours. My work is based on BEDIT, the Berlin Dissexuality Therapy program.
And to be clear about this work: I condemn the acts, the violence, the harm that has been done. I do not condemn the person sitting across from me – with them, I work openly. One clarification belongs right at the start: this page is about the offender and prevention side. If you have experienced an assault yourself, you are equally welcome here – that work has its place in sex therapy.
What people come to me with
- A pedophilic or hebephilic sexual preference, without ever having acted on it – and the wish to keep it that way.
- Impulses or fantasies that frighten you and that you cannot discuss with anyone.
- The constant fear of yourself when it comes to sexuality: gaining control instead of just avoiding.
- Exhibitionistic or voyeuristic impulses, where the legal line is uncomfortably close.
- Sexualized chats and online contacts that are starting to slip out of hand.
- Working through ongoing or completed legal proceedings: understanding how it came to this – analyzing, preventing.
- Boundary violations that frighten you, even if they never led to charges.
- Consumption of illegal material: getting out of a pattern that harms others and can destroy your own life.
- Life after prison or probation: building a life that holds without relapse.
- Professional consequences: dismissal, a ban from your profession, the loss of a licence or teaching permit.
- Relatives and partners: someone close to you is under investigation, and you don't know where to take that.
Responsibility and non-judgment
Responsibility and non-judgment are the core of this work. I don’t play anything down: what was done has consequences for other people, and we name them plainly instead of talking around them. Walking into therapy means taking responsibility – the opposite of looking away. And looking away happens on both sides: by the person who carries this, and by a field that would rather not deal with it.
I also want to be clear that I distinguish carefully between fantasy, impulse, and action. Nobody chooses their sexual preference. For pedophilia and hebephilia the line is this: having it is not a crime, acting on it is. What can be worked on is how you live with it: recognizing risky situations, building control, leading a life that is not ruled by secrecy and fear. What I work toward is simple – no offenses, no first ones and no further ones, and a life in which the people I work with are the ones in control.
I have specialized in this field, I am listed at LMU Munich as a contact for it, and I don’t do this work alone: I discuss it in regular supervision with Dr. Laura F. Kuhle, psychological psychotherapist and long-time project coordinator of the Charité prevention network „Kein Täter werden“ (“Don’t Offend”).
If nothing has ever happened – and you want to keep it that way
Most people with a pedophilic sexual preference never commit an offense. But many live with fear and shame for years without ever talking to a single person about it. That is an enormous weight – and it grows in the dark.
This is exactly where therapy comes in. Together we look at your sexual preference or your impulses, at situations that could become risky, and at how to set up your life so that neither the fear nor the preference is in the driver’s seat. You don’t need to wait for a crisis, and you don’t need to have crossed any line. The best time is now, while nothing has happened.
Framework and confidentiality
Frequently asked questions
Every detail helps me understand you better, that much is true. Still, we go at your pace. This is not an interrogation and not a case file – you decide what you tell me and when.
Yes. You can come before, during, or after proceedings. I don’t take the place of your lawyer and I don’t write forensic assessments. What I do is work with you on what led to this and on what has to change. If therapy has been ordered, bring the conditions along and we look at them together.
It stays with me. I am bound by confidentiality, including for what lies in the past. Only in the case of a concretely planned act are there legal provisions that apply to me as well – that is the one boundary I don’t set myself.
Yes, emphatically. Having a pedophilic sexual preference is not an act and not a crime. You don’t need to have crossed any line to deserve support. On the contrary: the earlier you come, the better.
The first step is a free intro call via video. After that, sessions take place at my practice in Munich or online, in English or German. You book online, with no front desk in between.
When is the right time?
The best time comes before the next line is crossed. When your distress or your impulses grow more urgent, when a consumption pattern escalates, when proceedings lie ahead of you or behind you and you feel that something has to change – then the moment is now.
And sometimes it starts smaller: with the wish to say out loud, once, what you could never say to anyone. This room is there for that too. What comes next, we decide together afterwards.